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  • Mar 8 2014

    Maintaining Your Identity After Becoming a Mommy

    Sometimes when you lose your way, you find YOURSELF.”  – Mandy Hale, Author

    The moment you become a mother it is likely that you will find yourself so consumed in the lives of your children(child) that you forget all about yourself. This may settle well for some, however most of us do like to remember who we are even after we start a family. Maintaining your unique identity after becoming a mother is not as difficult as you think! Easier said than done, but with patience, creativity, and finesse, you can find your ‘self’ that shines through ‘mom-hood’.

    Indulge in some Guilt-Free “Me Time”

    Especially for new mothers, finding “me-time” without associated guilt is nearly impossible. However, there comes a time in every mom’s life when the umbilical cord must be cut, both literally and figuratively. If every mother in the world spent every waking moment doting over their children instead of concentrating on their female essence, the world would probably be full of regretful kids who never know what a real woman is like. At the end of the day, you’re doing your children a favor by maintaining your beautiful identity. They will grow up one day and they will likely want to know who their mom is.

    Say No to Mom Jeans

    Just because you’re a mother now does not mean that you have to dress like an old lady. You may find that your time to get ready for the day is cut short due to your new responsibilities, but that doesn’t have to put you or your style in the dumps. Preparation and organization is key to looking and feeling your best. Try to keep your house in working order and your body in top physical shape by organizing your items and staying active. Use your baby as a workout tool if you have to and get that hot figure back once and for all. Show off your confidence in some class and appropriate outfits that scream, “I’m a mother and I love it!”

    Dear Diary

    Keeping a diary is not something that is only reserved for the young. Mothers can use them to stay sane without appearing to be losing their minds. Diaries keep secrets and allow you to express yourself while avoiding any negative consequences. On top of that, they provide you with an open forum to talk about the woes associated with post-partum depression, baby weight issues, and new motherhood fears. It may be a good idea to find a diary source that has a lock on it of some sort so that you can feel especially comfortable with being yourself. Express Yourself Motherhood often requires us to find new and creative ways of expressing ourselves, especially once we are aware of the fact that our actions weigh heavily on the fate of our children. Finding an innovative means of self-expression is a vital tool for maintaining your identity after becoming a mother. Try escaping through reading interesting books, looking at or creating inspirational art, watching fascinating movies, or creating remarkable crafts that you can show off. You can even involve the kids in some of these so that they stay out of your hair during the process.

    Friends, how many of us have them?

    It is important for you to stay in contact with your friends and family after having a baby. If this turns out to be more work than it is worth, try making some new friends who have families of their own. That way you will be able to participate in common activities while having that much-needed adult company you probably crave. Finding friends is sometimes hard when you have kids; so, simply teach your kids to have a conscientious respect and you will always be accompanies by pleasant and empathetic individuals who don’t require you to give up your identity on their behalf in the first place.


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